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The Tortured Girl/Bye Bye Hands
Come inside and lock the door
Your lust and pleasure evermore
Gagged and bound, tied to the ground
The tortured girl won’t make a sound
Here to please, too young to tease
The hooded monster underneath
Charged admission for their blood
Their innocence drug through the mud
Come inside and lock the door
Your lust and pleasure evermore
Gagged and bound, tied to the ground
The tortured girl won’t make a sound
Here to please, too young to tease
The hooded monster underneath
Charged admission for their blood
Their innocence drug through the mud
Bye Bye Hands
She begins her rituals of goodbyes
From the mind of four
She begins her rituals of goodbyes
From the mind of four
Bye bye hands, bye bye feet
Bye bye eyes, bye bye ears
Bye bye legs, bye bye arms
Say goodbye to my body…
Songs For the Ritually Abused
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know…
You bring the virgin, I’ll bring the wine
You take the Valium, she’s gonna have a good time
Until she’s mine…
Children are conditioned
Starving and left all alone
No one will hear them
No one will answer the phone
Now we’re all alone
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know the half of it
Can’t tell you the truth
Shock them ’til they’re shaking
An alter starts to emerge
Activate the spirit
The Tortured Girl
The Tortured Girl
Assigned to them by birth
Generation cursed
See the burning candles
Gather the shadows around
Children in a circle
There’s no hope to be found
One of them will drown
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know the half of it
Can’t tell you the truth
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know the half of it
Can’t tell you the truth
Activate the kittens
The men are hungry with rage
Completely destroy them
Then put them all away
Until another day
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know the half of it
Can’t tell you the truth
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know the half of it
Can’t tell you the truth
God’s heart breaks for the ones
Who can’t help themselves
And He has a place to store their tears
There on His shelf
God’s heart breaks for the ones
Who can’t help themselves
And He has a place to store their tears
There on His shelf
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know the half of it
Can’t tell you the truth
Songs for the ritually abused
You don’t even know the half of it
Can’t tell you the truth
Little ones are broken
Crawl up on His lap
He takes broken pieces
And holds them in His hands
He’ll hold you in His hand…
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Keep You To Myself
My baby where did you run?
And where did you go?
My lambkin jumping the fence
And starting to roam
My pumpkin where did you grow?
And where did you roll?
My puppy where is your bark?
Where did it go?
(Chorus)
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
Now I lay you down to sleep
And rest your head
I heard you crying late at night
In your bed (Hush now baby)
I love you so much, little one
I won’t share with them (No, no)
Jealous for the love
And the attention missed
(Chorus)
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I will not keep you
If you don’t want to be kept
You’re rolling on the floor
That’s never swept
You drink the poison
From the liar’s cup (Evil to the last drop)
They offer dirty blood
Try to clean you up
(Chorus)
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
(Chorus)
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
(Chorus)
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I’m willing to take it slow
If that’s what you need
You don’t have to try to please
I’m already pleased
I’m already pleased
You know that I’m already pleased
(Chorus)
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I wanna keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
I gotta keep you to myself
I’m gonna love you anyway
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Medication
Medication, you ruin my mind
But I can’t think anyway
Intoxication scales on my eyes
I can’t see anyway
(Chorus)
Oh, it started so slow
Before you know
Now there’s no tomorrow
Now I need it so
Give me some blow
So I can face tomorrow
Oxycodone, I can’t put it down
Her lips are sweet as can be
Fuzzy fire now I can speak
But no one listens to me
(Chorus)
Oh, it started so slow
Before you know
Now there’s no tomorrow
Now I need it so
Give me some blow
So I can face tomorrow
Pharmakea, I know you so well
I can’t kick you away
So enchanted, bewitched by your plans
But you came in anyway
(Chorus)
Oh, it started so slow
Before you know
Now there’s no tomorrow
Now I need it so
Give me some blow
So I can face tomorrow
Oh, it started so slow
Before you know
Now there’s no tomorrow
Now face tomorrow..
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Whispering Whales
Whispering whales under the sea
Deadly creatures that are drowning with me
I can be found creating worlds below
I breathe in the albatross that you don’t know
(Chorus)
Shattered glass brings rays of light
Mountain monsters heard by night
Find our hearts piled in a box
Map unfolds, closet unlocks
Parts of me scattered into the deep
I hear the monster whales as they weep
The enemy’s hooks they sway underneath
They’re trying to capture the air that we breathe
The ocean’s floor carries secrets of me
To unlock the mysteries of the 13th key
(Chorus)
Shattered glass brings rays of light
Mountain monsters heard by night
Find our hearts piled in a box
Map unfolds, closet unlocks
The killer whales whisper in my ear
The sounds create pockets for alters to fear
To be rescued, turn on the beacon of light
Then the diver reaches to the darkest of night
The waves of chaos will continue to play
‘Til the sea of codes are drifting away
(Chorus)
Shattered glass brings rays of light
Mountain monsters heard by night
Find our hearts piled in a box
Map unfolds, closet unlocks
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Kellan and the Illustrator
I am the part that draws your heart
Discovering your pain and covering my part
I sketch out the truth to Kellan’s abuse
Hoping to show she’s violently used
(Chorus)
Close your eyes, the pen speaks in you
Draw the pain the world can see
And you help in a way you don’t even know
And you help in a way that nobody knows
But I know…’cause I’m watching you
I draw the bag that slips on her head
Reality is, she’ll soon be dead
I become her voice as the doctors hear her noise
She needs to live to tell but it’s her choice
(Chorus)
Close your eyes, the pen speaks in you
Draw the pain the world can see
And you help in a way you don’t even know
And you help in a way that nobody knows
But I know…’cause I’m watching you
I want to cry as I look at what I’ve done
Light up the memories that once were shunned
I shade alive the baby’s blue eyes
That has died and entered the sky
(Chorus)
Close your eyes, the pen speaks in you
Draw the pain the world can see
And you help in a way you don’t even know
And you help in a way that nobody knows
But I know…’cause I’m watching you
I hear the screams and I write her words
And the doctors they look like evil black birds
And they fly away…
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Micky
Micky locked in a cage, Uncle with rage
He said, “You’re a bad girl”
Now cue the song, so we sing along
And then it happens again
Pick up the phone, dial in the code
And now, misery’s come
Obsessed with your blade
Red serenade
You know it’s starting to…
(Chorus)
Try to wash it off
All of his sick moss
Where there’s no place to run, my love
No place to hide, my love
No place to run, my love
So you must cut, my love
Micky, cover your arms from all the harm
You know it’s starting to show
Tracks in your arms, your prison bars
You know it all goes to show
That all of the pain can’t take away
The impression that’s cut in your brain
Programmed to harm, tethered to scars
You know you can’t live this way
(Chorus)
Try to wash it off
All of his sick moss
Where there’s no place to run, my love
No place to hide, my love
No place to run, my love
So you must cut, my love
Micky, all of the pain, regret and shame
It reads red on your arms
All the neglect, it’s hard to forget
But a monster, that you are not
Programmed to harm the cult’s never far
They want you broken and dead
I know a man, He has a plan
And He loves you, Micky
(Chorus)
He can wash away
All the hurt today
He’s the place to run, my love
He’s the place to hide, my love
He’s the hiding place, my love
He can heal the scars, my love
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The Girl
I prayed for years that I could know you when you were young
And I swore that I would do for you what wasn’t done
Tears stain my cheek for the one who couldn’t speak
Sweet little Girl…
I want to replace everything stolen from you
How could they do everything they did to you?
Tears stain my cheek for the one who couldn’t speak
Sweet little Girl…
(Chorus)
Girl, I know everything’s gonna be fine
Girl, I know He’ll wipe the tears from your eyes
So close your eyes and dream of things
You thought that you’d never see
My Girl…
Go ride your blue bike and this time I’ll see you crash
I’ll mend your wounds and I’ll clean off the grass
Blood on your hands and feet
But you’re the Girl to break free
Sweet little Girl…
(Chorus)
Girl, I know everything’s gonna be fine
Girl, I know He’ll wipe the tears from your eyes
So close your eyes and dream of things
You thought that you’d never see
Play it, Steven…
Sweet little Girl…
You were ritually abused…battered, bloodied and bruised
But Jesus is calling your name and Girl, you’ll never be the same
Tears stain my cheek for the one who couldn’t speak
Sweet little Girl…
I know everything’s gonna be fine
Girl, I know He’ll wipe the tears from your eyes
So close your eyes and dream of things
Close your eyes and dream of things
So close your eyes and dream of things that
You thought that you’d never see
Beautiful Girl…
Havilah, your time has come
And now you get to speak…
You can speak.
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Monster
I created a world from the inside
A place for little ones to hide
A secret world that no one finds
Setting traps and codes in my mind
I became the masked monster
Conditioned to harm, building the structure
I see what no one wants to see
Hide behind the walls, holding the key
(Chorus)
I am not your monster
That you programmed me to be
My life holds the key
When the program is broken
And my God starts to come
And shine the light on the little ones
He’ll pay for your mistakes
He’ll wipe the blood away
I know that you can stay
You don’t even know…you don’t even know
In my world, one becomes we
Fragmented pieces turn into three
They shocked me and hurt me and left me to die
Then they signed me with the all-seeing eye
Captured and tortured, no place to go
The very first program, over the rainbow
I was a child, I’ll do what I’m told
They forced me with no choice, fitting their mold
(Chorus)
I am not your monster
That you programmed me to be
My life holds the key
When the program is broken
And my God starts to come
And shine the light on the little ones
He’ll pay for your mistakes
He’ll wipe the blood away
I know that you can stay
You don’t even know…you don’t even know
Now the light has come
And all your days are through
And now the broken girl
Can be made as new
(Chorus)
I am not your monster
That you programmed me to be
My life holds the key
When the program is broken
And my God starts to come
And shine the light on the little ones
He’ll pay for your mistakes
He’ll wipe the blood away
I know that you can stay
You don’t even know…you don’t even know
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Hells Locked From The Inside
Give me a needle and some thread
You stitch your secrets in my head
Your dark allegiance found you out
You will devour me, no doubt
Try to run, try to hide
Don’t you know? Hell’s locked from the inside
Torture yourself inside your mind
Sick leading sick, blind leading blind
So self-absorbed, so self-consumed
Impending death, impending doom
Try to run, try to hide
Don’t you know? Hell’s locked from the inside
(Chorus)
You’re just a no-good, snake in the grass
Just a swindler, a wolf in sheep’s clothing
You’re just a no-good, snake in the grass
Just a swindler, a wolf in sheep’s clothing
I see my love wither away
I want you back, I hope and pray
Something’s taken over you
I can’t believe it, but it’s true
It’s my life, so they say
It’s under control, I can do it my way
It’s like someone just threw the switch
Send back the saint, bring forth the witch
The cult has taken over you
I can’t deny it ’cause it’s true
Break the chains that hold down
From your past, baby, you’re gonna drown
(Chorus)
You’re just a no-good, snake in the grass
Just a swindler, a wolf in sheep’s clothing
You’re just a no-good, snake in the grass
Just a swindler, a wolf in sheep’s clothing
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When Will I Be Loved
Sweet little girl, just 1 year of age
Trapped in a box as the clowns dance with rage
Shadows appear on the wall
Frightened by everything she saw
When will I be loved?
Oh when will I be loved?
So sweet and vulnerable, it happened again
Terribly weak and horribly thin
There’s only so much she can take
So the mind starts to break
When will I be loved?
Oh when will I be loved?
Do as I say and don’t tell a soul
They won’t believe you and I won’t let go
I’ll take your freedom away
Trust me, it’s better this way
When will I be loved?
Oh when will I be loved?
Here in the garden
Is where you’ll find your escape
Here in the Garden
Is where you’ll find your escape
Escape…
Now she’s older, still fractured inside
All of the voices and no place to hide
She’s faithful, even to death
But you won’t escape me yet
When will I be loved?
Oh when will I be loved?
Now there’s a Garden and I found her there
Free from the darkness that they all would share
The broken are mended as one
Free from everything they’ve done
Now, now I can be loved
Oh now, now I can be loved
Here in the garden
Is where you’ll find your escape
Here in the Garden
Is where you’ll find your escape
Today…
The end of the story goes back to the start
Living out life, feeling your heart
Everything has become new
All of them are part of you
‘Cause you will always be loved
You were always loved
You were always loved…
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This record is dedicated to anybody that didn’t have a voice to scream through the soundproof walls in that old modular trailer- where the neighbors were used to the police coming and somehow staying for hours like they actually belonged there. For the little ones that tear up with the aroma of melting wax. For the ones with all the bruises and all the cuts, that were told nothing ever happened… it was all a dream. For the ones whose voice was stolen before they could say a word. It says in the Bible that God is close to the brokenhearted and the crushed in the spirit. So whether many of you can relate to this, or know someone who can, most of these kids don’t even make it out of the institutions. I have met several of these people, teens and adults- and there’s something so similar about all of their stories, they’re consistent- there is a way out. That’s what this album is all about- the escape for the abused.